Self sabotage oh how we love you, let me count the ways…


Love self sabotage? Yes, love because on some level most of us self sabotage most days, me included… Whether its procrastinating in all its forms, putting too many things on our double priority action list, letting things get to urgent before dealing with them, not eating the frog, telling ourselves stories about why this didn’t work out…

There’s probably as many reasons why people self sabotage as there are people but the thing is we don’t always recognise we’re doing it… and nor do we always recognise the wider consequences. It was only when talking to another coach this week I realised that when I, or my clients, self sabotage the knock on effect is that we are potentially sabotaging not only our own business but that of our clients too as we aren’t serving them.

Paul Matthews of People Alchemy once said that the things he writes about are the lessons that he needs to learn in that moment and a recent post from him really struck a chord. Dependability is one of the things that we sabotage the most and yet it’s what we want from people in business and life… and if we are honest from ourselves for ourselves.

Here are some thoughts on being more dependable:

  • When you agree to an action no matter how small where do you record the action? And how accountable are you to take the action? It might seem small to you but to the other person the outcome can be massive
  • Use reminders in calendars more effectively so that you include travel time too and set second reminders
  • Set autoresponders to emails advising that you will respond within ‘x’ time to manage expectations, if its urgent people will pick up the phone
  • Always follow up when you’ve taken an action – checking in that they have everything they need and if there’s anything else that you can help with
  • Manage expectations and renegotiate deadlines if it’s necessary, don’t wait until something is late. And when you do this pick up the phone, don’t hide behind email.
And finally stop listening to the stories that we tell ourselves in whatever way we tell them… it’s a script we simply don’t need.